Roles

The social roles we play.

Never forget that you’re just playing a role. In effect, your identity isn’t fixed but fluid and continually changing. It’s just that you’re often not aware of it.

In other words, if you take your existing role too seriously (i.e. “breadwinner” of your family), to the point that it becomes fixed and all consuming, your life can feel like it’s literally over if you somehow lose that role.

I came to see that my job was just a role that I was playing—an important role, of course, but not what defined who I am.

Paul Slakey
Everything Connects: Cultivating Mindfulness, Creativity, and Innovation for Long-Term Value
  • Every Individual Has a Role to Play

    Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference.

    Jane Goodall
  • Jobs Are Just a Role We’re Playing

    I came to see that my job was just a role that I was playing—an important role, of course, but not what defined who I am.

    Paul Slakey
    Everything Connects: Cultivating Mindfulness, Creativity, and Innovation for Long-Term Value
  • Never Forget You’re Just Playing a Role

    Do not take life’s experiences too seriously. For in reality they are nothing but dream experiencesPlay your part in life, but never forget that it is only a role.

    Paramahansa Yogananda
  • Integrating Our Compartmentalized Roles

    If alienated, fragmentary selves in an individual take on separate, compartmentalized roles, the Gestalt therapist encourages communication between the roles; he may actually ask them to talk to one another. If the patient objects to this or indicates a block, the therapist asks him simply to invest himself fully in the objection or the block. Experience has shown that when the patient identifies with the alienated fragments, integration does occur. Thus, by being what one is—fully—one can become something else.

    Arnold Beisser, M.D.
    The Paradoxical Theory of Change
  • Paradoxically Rejecting the Role of “Changer” to Change Roles

    Perls’s own conflict with the existing order contains the seeds of his change theory. He did not explicitly delineate this change theory, but it underlies much of his work and is implied in the practice of Gestalt techniques. I will call it the paradoxical theory of change, for reasons that shall become obvious. Briefly stated, it is this: that change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not. Change does not take place through a coercive attempt by the individual or by another person to change him, but it does take place if one takes the time and effort to be what he is—to be fully invested in his current positions. By rejecting the role of change agent, we make meaningful and orderly change possible.

    The Gestalt therapist rejects the role of “changer,” for his strategy is to encourage, even insist, that the patient be where and what he is. He believes change does not take place by “trying,” coercion, or persuasion, or by insight, interpretation, or any other such means. Rather, change can occur when the patient abandons, at least for the moment, what he would like to become and attempts to be what he is. The premise is that one must stand in one place in order to have firm footing to move and that it is difficult or impossible to move without that footing.

    The person seeking change by coming to therapy is in conflict with at least two warring intrapsychic factions. He is constantly moving between what he “should be” and what he thinks he “is,” never fully identifying with either. The Gestalt therapist asks the person to invest himself fully in his roles, one at a time. Whichever role he begins with, the patient soon shifts to another. The Gestalt therapist asks simply that he be what he is at the moment.

    Arnold Beisser, M.D.
    The Paradoxical Theory of Change